http://baconsalt.com/
I mean, seriously, what's better than bacon? Ham n' cheese mebbe, but otherwise not much.
Monday, September 24, 2007
Sunday, September 09, 2007
The Score So Far:
Mark:2
Food Disasters: 43
I forgot to mention that with my Rachael Ray disaster, I also made an appetizing dish that was part of the recipe. Crostini topped with Manchego cheese that's been mixed with parsley and chopped roasted red pepper. Slice a baguette, broil the pieces for about 10 minutes until slightly brown, then mix together the ingredients in a bowl and put them on the browned toast. Then stick back in the broiler for another 5 minutes until melted. The cheese is pretty important, as I tried it again last night with Parmesan (that store didn't have Manchego) and the cheese was overpowered by the parsley.
Now a smarter man than myself would say, "Hmm, the recipe that only contained 4 ingredients turned out well, whereas the recipe with 11 ingredients was shit, what's going on here?". And that smarter man would have a point. I have no use for the smarter man. The Mrs. pretty much made that same point last week. I have a couple reasons for not wanting to use simple recipes.
1. I can still muck up a simple recipe. I know that if you follow the recipe exactly and are careful it should turn out fine, but I can still mess it up somehow.
2. If I mess up a simple recipe, I don't really have any excuse. If I mess up a complicated recipe, I can blame any number of factors--the instructions were unclear, my store didn't have the correct ingredients, or my usual excuse, I drank too much whiskey while cooking and everything just kind of fell apart.
3. On that one day where everything just comes together just right and I make the most heavenly morsels that you've ever eaten, then I'll be even prouder because it wasn't the easy recipe.
Don't bother pointing out how stupid my thinking is on this point...a smarter man (or Mrs.) has already told me. Anyway, thanks for reading, and if you ever want a homecooked meal, let her know.
Food Disasters: 43
I forgot to mention that with my Rachael Ray disaster, I also made an appetizing dish that was part of the recipe. Crostini topped with Manchego cheese that's been mixed with parsley and chopped roasted red pepper. Slice a baguette, broil the pieces for about 10 minutes until slightly brown, then mix together the ingredients in a bowl and put them on the browned toast. Then stick back in the broiler for another 5 minutes until melted. The cheese is pretty important, as I tried it again last night with Parmesan (that store didn't have Manchego) and the cheese was overpowered by the parsley.
Now a smarter man than myself would say, "Hmm, the recipe that only contained 4 ingredients turned out well, whereas the recipe with 11 ingredients was shit, what's going on here?". And that smarter man would have a point. I have no use for the smarter man. The Mrs. pretty much made that same point last week. I have a couple reasons for not wanting to use simple recipes.
1. I can still muck up a simple recipe. I know that if you follow the recipe exactly and are careful it should turn out fine, but I can still mess it up somehow.
2. If I mess up a simple recipe, I don't really have any excuse. If I mess up a complicated recipe, I can blame any number of factors--the instructions were unclear, my store didn't have the correct ingredients, or my usual excuse, I drank too much whiskey while cooking and everything just kind of fell apart.
3. On that one day where everything just comes together just right and I make the most heavenly morsels that you've ever eaten, then I'll be even prouder because it wasn't the easy recipe.
Don't bother pointing out how stupid my thinking is on this point...a smarter man (or Mrs.) has already told me. Anyway, thanks for reading, and if you ever want a homecooked meal, let her know.
Monday, September 03, 2007
Rachael Ray
I whipped up a dish from my new Rachael Ray cookbook last night. I'm not sure whether I love that woman or loathe her. My opinion seems to ping-pong back and forth depending on what day it is. Lately she's been bugging me by being everywhere at once, but because the Mrs. bought me a RR cookbook for my birthday, I felt like I should put it to use. So I picked out a soup recipe that had mostly ingredients that I like, though one that I don't (cooked spinach).
So I start by browning a 1/2 pound of chorizo. In the recipe it says I should quarter the chorizo lengthwise, then make thin slices from these. I don't know what chorizo she uses, but I couldn't cut that shit for all the tea in China. It didn't cut, it pulled apart into chunks. So instead of nice slices of chorizo it looked more like mashed brown stuff. This wasn't a good sign, though I later learned it's about the taste it adds to the dish, not necessarily the substance.
Then I cut up an onion and some garlic and cook it up. Then defrost the frozen spinach, add it to the onions and garlic, and puree the bastard in a blender. Our blender sucks the big one. It didn't puree anything but the bottom 1/5 of the mixture, so I had to stir, then puree. Repeat, oh, 10 times.
Put all this back in the pot, add some chicken broth, add some bite-sized chicken chunks, and let those cook in the soup. The result is baby-poo. With chicken.
Seriously, had she told me at the beginning that it was going to look like green baby crap, I probably would've just made grilled cheese and tomato soup. Mandy had already been home sick throwing up all day, but she gamely ate a few bites for me. I had to drink a beer first before I could try some. Luckily the accompaniment of crostini with manchego cheese mixed with parsley and roasted red peppers provided something solid to help the green shit go down.
I did take the leftovers to work today and ate while I read a book. This way I didn't have to look at what I was eating. And you wanna know something? It was pretty good! Even the spinach added to the dish, which is the least it could do, after giving it the sickly green finish. I know what you're thinking, couldn't you have left the spinach out? No, because one of the reasons I can't cook is because I often make detours from the main recipes and these turn out horribly, so I'm trying very hard to actually follow the instructions. But I think if I had just used a little less spinach and maybe some more broth the results would've been much more satisfying.
I don't think I'll make that again though.
So I start by browning a 1/2 pound of chorizo. In the recipe it says I should quarter the chorizo lengthwise, then make thin slices from these. I don't know what chorizo she uses, but I couldn't cut that shit for all the tea in China. It didn't cut, it pulled apart into chunks. So instead of nice slices of chorizo it looked more like mashed brown stuff. This wasn't a good sign, though I later learned it's about the taste it adds to the dish, not necessarily the substance.
Then I cut up an onion and some garlic and cook it up. Then defrost the frozen spinach, add it to the onions and garlic, and puree the bastard in a blender. Our blender sucks the big one. It didn't puree anything but the bottom 1/5 of the mixture, so I had to stir, then puree. Repeat, oh, 10 times.
Put all this back in the pot, add some chicken broth, add some bite-sized chicken chunks, and let those cook in the soup. The result is baby-poo. With chicken.
Seriously, had she told me at the beginning that it was going to look like green baby crap, I probably would've just made grilled cheese and tomato soup. Mandy had already been home sick throwing up all day, but she gamely ate a few bites for me. I had to drink a beer first before I could try some. Luckily the accompaniment of crostini with manchego cheese mixed with parsley and roasted red peppers provided something solid to help the green shit go down.
I did take the leftovers to work today and ate while I read a book. This way I didn't have to look at what I was eating. And you wanna know something? It was pretty good! Even the spinach added to the dish, which is the least it could do, after giving it the sickly green finish. I know what you're thinking, couldn't you have left the spinach out? No, because one of the reasons I can't cook is because I often make detours from the main recipes and these turn out horribly, so I'm trying very hard to actually follow the instructions. But I think if I had just used a little less spinach and maybe some more broth the results would've been much more satisfying.
I don't think I'll make that again though.
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