For the past year or so I've been troubled with an affliction involving my eye. I'll be sleeping and wake up suddenly in the middle of the night when my eye feels like someone's stabbing it with a burning poker.
I went to a doctor about it and he said it's called Corneal Erosion. This means that the top layer of my cornea sticks to my eyelid, and when I wake up, it rips that top layer like a flap of skin off my eye. It hurts for hours until that flap re-attaches itself to the eyeball.
Sounds nasty, doesn't it?
Well it is. I usually find myself doubled over in pain with my fist or an ice pack compressed into my eye socket to try to relieve the pain. I mention it because it happened again yesterday. I actually tried to go to work, I dropped the kids off and went in for a couple hours, but I'm pretty well useless (and shouldn't have been driving anyway), so I came home and went to bed.
Normally my head starts hurting and my vision in that eye is blurred, but it's always been better the next day. But today it's still blurry and even though my headache is gone, it always comes back after a few hours of this blurred vision.
I'm going to see a specialist this afternoon to find out if there's anything to be done to fix it.
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Hot Pockets
I admit I have been eating Hot Pockets for many, many years now. This guy is hilariously right-on about the truth behind them.
By the way, if you get a chance to check out the Chicken Bakes from Costco, I heartily recommend them, they're wonderful.
Sunday, May 06, 2007
Jesus loves me
To: Macsmith230
From: Jesus
Subject: Re
I got an email today from Jesus. I didn't read it since it was in my spam box, but it looks like he finally got around to answering me.
The problem is, I've forgotten what I wrote him about in the first place. I could have been e-viting him to my birthday party, or maybe it was forwarding the message about saving the children. In any case, it was nice of him to write back.
From: Jesus
Subject: Re
I got an email today from Jesus. I didn't read it since it was in my spam box, but it looks like he finally got around to answering me.
The problem is, I've forgotten what I wrote him about in the first place. I could have been e-viting him to my birthday party, or maybe it was forwarding the message about saving the children. In any case, it was nice of him to write back.
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Best Job
Ok, may as well tell about my favorite job ever. I spent a summer working for Washington State University's Tree fruit research center in my hometown. It was totally awesome. Spent most the summer outside, often driving around in government cars with their bad paint jobs and am radios. I actually listened to a lot of Rush Limbaugh because I've never liked listening to Top 40 radio.
The worst job we did that summer was to spray the fruit trees with chemicals to test them out and see how effective they were at killing the pests. At first this wasn't so bad, because I just drove the truck slowly down the row of trees while someone else had to trail along spraying the trees. Then they got smart and taught me how to do the spraying. It's not that spraying was so bad, it's that you had to wear a jumpsuit (not the bad part) and big rubber boots and a big, floppy rubber hat and big ol' rubber gloves and a respirator, and it was usually 110 degrees out, while the driver got to sit up front in the air conditioned cab and listen to cds. I'm not sure why the spray truck got air conditioning and a cd player, but we didn't take it for granted.
It was mainly a group of college kids working there, so we sat around a lot and shot the shit while doing menial labor. One of the most boring jobs was to take a box of leaves we'd plucked from the test trees and run them through a little machine that had two brushes on it, which would brush off any tree pests onto a microscope slide, which we'd then count under a magnifying glass to see how many had survived the sprays.
Another job I had to do was to go into a test orchard and pluck little worms from the leaves there. These worms would get in the middle of a leaf and wrap the leaf around them, so I had to unwrap the leaf and put the worm into a container. I had to collect 200 of them so it took me several days to accomplish this task. Once I had my 200, I had to put each one in a little plastic cup with a lid and a few fresh leaves for them to eat. Over the summer we would do tests on these worms, so I had to make sure they had fresh leaves and then I'd have to clean out their little worm poop from their cups every couple days. These worms had a surprisingly large amount of poop coming out of them. After a few months they turned into moths and we pretty much killed them all with hazardous chemicals.
The very best part of the job was that sometimes I had to go out to the remote orchards to collect samples, so you'd grab a car and drive a couple hours with the windows down and a soda in your lap. Once you got to the orchard you didn't even have to leave the car. You'd just drive down the rows and pluck some leaves from the trees as you drove past. This was totally awesome and I'm not sure now why I didn't stick with this job.
Once we were done with all our tests and had our data compiled, the supervising bosses would write up their results and publish them so that the orchardists knew which sprays to put on their crops to kill the invasive pests. I know it's a long ways from the organic food which is getting to be popular these days, but I sure did love that job.
The worst job we did that summer was to spray the fruit trees with chemicals to test them out and see how effective they were at killing the pests. At first this wasn't so bad, because I just drove the truck slowly down the row of trees while someone else had to trail along spraying the trees. Then they got smart and taught me how to do the spraying. It's not that spraying was so bad, it's that you had to wear a jumpsuit (not the bad part) and big rubber boots and a big, floppy rubber hat and big ol' rubber gloves and a respirator, and it was usually 110 degrees out, while the driver got to sit up front in the air conditioned cab and listen to cds. I'm not sure why the spray truck got air conditioning and a cd player, but we didn't take it for granted.
It was mainly a group of college kids working there, so we sat around a lot and shot the shit while doing menial labor. One of the most boring jobs was to take a box of leaves we'd plucked from the test trees and run them through a little machine that had two brushes on it, which would brush off any tree pests onto a microscope slide, which we'd then count under a magnifying glass to see how many had survived the sprays.
Another job I had to do was to go into a test orchard and pluck little worms from the leaves there. These worms would get in the middle of a leaf and wrap the leaf around them, so I had to unwrap the leaf and put the worm into a container. I had to collect 200 of them so it took me several days to accomplish this task. Once I had my 200, I had to put each one in a little plastic cup with a lid and a few fresh leaves for them to eat. Over the summer we would do tests on these worms, so I had to make sure they had fresh leaves and then I'd have to clean out their little worm poop from their cups every couple days. These worms had a surprisingly large amount of poop coming out of them. After a few months they turned into moths and we pretty much killed them all with hazardous chemicals.
The very best part of the job was that sometimes I had to go out to the remote orchards to collect samples, so you'd grab a car and drive a couple hours with the windows down and a soda in your lap. Once you got to the orchard you didn't even have to leave the car. You'd just drive down the rows and pluck some leaves from the trees as you drove past. This was totally awesome and I'm not sure now why I didn't stick with this job.
Once we were done with all our tests and had our data compiled, the supervising bosses would write up their results and publish them so that the orchardists knew which sprays to put on their crops to kill the invasive pests. I know it's a long ways from the organic food which is getting to be popular these days, but I sure did love that job.
My worst job
I had one job that I worked for just one day because it was so horrible.
I was in college and my uncle offered to get me a job through a friend working for RPS, a delivery company similar to UPS. I was going to school at BYU and the job was in Salt Lake City, 45 minutes away. Somehow I thought that wouldn't pose a problem. The worst part about it was that the hours were from midnight to 7 am. Since I had just learned about No Doz and Mini Thins, I figured I could go to work, come home in time for classes, then sleep in the afternoon and start all over again.
On the night I was supposed to start my new job, there was a blizzard. Maybe not a full blown blizzard, but one of those where you're the only car on the road and the plows haven't come out yet and you're wondering what you're doing outside. I knew what I was doing, I was starting my new job! I left around 10.30 to make sure I'd make the 45 minute drive in time, and I got there just before midnight. I had a quick smoke, then went inside and introduced myself.
The rest of the night was so horrible. Basically they would back a semi truck up to a conveyor belt and unload the packages onto that. Delivery trucks were parked in rows on each side of the belt, and you were supposed to pull the packages that were on your truck's route. Except since I wasn't from there I didn't really know whether a package went on my truck or not, and the big information sheet they had posted near me didn't help much either.
I guess I was being trained, in that they explained to me what to do for 10 minutes then let me go. I had my own truck, and a woman came by every 15 minutes or so to see how I was doing. I was doing terribly. The inside of the truck was divided into six sections, then each section subdivided by 3. Once a section (or subsection) filled up, you weren't supposed to put the next packages in the nearest section, as you'd suppose, instead you were supposed to magically make the packages fit into their correct section that was already too full. Somehow this seemed pretty fucked up, because 5 of the sections were empty and only one section was getting packages and it was overflowing.
Anyway, this job sucked. And next time you're wondering why your package is broken, it's because those little bastards at the warehouse are throwing your shit around from one end to the other.
I was in college and my uncle offered to get me a job through a friend working for RPS, a delivery company similar to UPS. I was going to school at BYU and the job was in Salt Lake City, 45 minutes away. Somehow I thought that wouldn't pose a problem. The worst part about it was that the hours were from midnight to 7 am. Since I had just learned about No Doz and Mini Thins, I figured I could go to work, come home in time for classes, then sleep in the afternoon and start all over again.
On the night I was supposed to start my new job, there was a blizzard. Maybe not a full blown blizzard, but one of those where you're the only car on the road and the plows haven't come out yet and you're wondering what you're doing outside. I knew what I was doing, I was starting my new job! I left around 10.30 to make sure I'd make the 45 minute drive in time, and I got there just before midnight. I had a quick smoke, then went inside and introduced myself.
The rest of the night was so horrible. Basically they would back a semi truck up to a conveyor belt and unload the packages onto that. Delivery trucks were parked in rows on each side of the belt, and you were supposed to pull the packages that were on your truck's route. Except since I wasn't from there I didn't really know whether a package went on my truck or not, and the big information sheet they had posted near me didn't help much either.
I guess I was being trained, in that they explained to me what to do for 10 minutes then let me go. I had my own truck, and a woman came by every 15 minutes or so to see how I was doing. I was doing terribly. The inside of the truck was divided into six sections, then each section subdivided by 3. Once a section (or subsection) filled up, you weren't supposed to put the next packages in the nearest section, as you'd suppose, instead you were supposed to magically make the packages fit into their correct section that was already too full. Somehow this seemed pretty fucked up, because 5 of the sections were empty and only one section was getting packages and it was overflowing.
Anyway, this job sucked. And next time you're wondering why your package is broken, it's because those little bastards at the warehouse are throwing your shit around from one end to the other.
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Sick-o
Ugh, sick as a dog today, and the wife's in California for a couple days so it's just me and the holy terrors.
Ok, they're being very good, but it's doubly hard when you're not feeling good.
I used to like being sick. You could lay around and watch tv and do whatever. Now it feels like work. I feel like I have to clean the house, and now I'm doing laundry to prove that my sick day wasn't enjoyable at all. Sometimes I wish I had no conscience (I'm sure my wife thinks I don't, but it could be much, much worse).
Ok, they're being very good, but it's doubly hard when you're not feeling good.
I used to like being sick. You could lay around and watch tv and do whatever. Now it feels like work. I feel like I have to clean the house, and now I'm doing laundry to prove that my sick day wasn't enjoyable at all. Sometimes I wish I had no conscience (I'm sure my wife thinks I don't, but it could be much, much worse).
Monday, April 16, 2007
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Hometowns
I grew up in a smallish city in central Washington. I went home this past weekend to visit, and while there I realized I hadn't been home in over a year. Even when we lived in Seattle I didn't make it over as much as I wanted to, but now that we're six hours and two screaming kids away, it makes for an even tougher journey.
But every time I go to visit my family there are certain things I just have to do. I have to eat a hamburger at the local place called Dusty's Drive-In. I have to go to the Hastings bookstore, which has a better selection of magazines and books than the Borders near here. I'm not sure why, I like to think that they feel bad for all the people who live there that can't escape, so they like to offer a lot of diversions.
And I usually make Mandy drive around with me and I point out important places from my childhood; the schools I attended, that sort of thing.
But this last visit there were some surprising things that I wanted to see.
First was the Gas/Groc. That was never the real name of the place, but for some reason they built a convenience store/gas station and right in front they had a 50 foot sign that said Gas/Groc. I always understood the gas part, but the Groc was the funny part that didn't make so much sense. I guess it stands for groceries, though it's not really a place you're gonna go shopping for your evening meal. Alas, the sign is gone now, though there is still a convenience store there. I didn't go in.
Just down the street from the Gas/Groc is the oil-change coffee shop. I forget the actual name, but it's the first place I ever saw that combined oil changes and lattes. When Seattle's coffee boom hit, Wenatchee wasn't spared. We had coffee shops on every corner with coffee stands/carts on the sidewalks between them. And we had the oil change/latte shop to complete the set.
Anyway, though I miss not being near my family, it's good to be back home again in my own bed.
But every time I go to visit my family there are certain things I just have to do. I have to eat a hamburger at the local place called Dusty's Drive-In. I have to go to the Hastings bookstore, which has a better selection of magazines and books than the Borders near here. I'm not sure why, I like to think that they feel bad for all the people who live there that can't escape, so they like to offer a lot of diversions.
And I usually make Mandy drive around with me and I point out important places from my childhood; the schools I attended, that sort of thing.
But this last visit there were some surprising things that I wanted to see.
First was the Gas/Groc. That was never the real name of the place, but for some reason they built a convenience store/gas station and right in front they had a 50 foot sign that said Gas/Groc. I always understood the gas part, but the Groc was the funny part that didn't make so much sense. I guess it stands for groceries, though it's not really a place you're gonna go shopping for your evening meal. Alas, the sign is gone now, though there is still a convenience store there. I didn't go in.
Just down the street from the Gas/Groc is the oil-change coffee shop. I forget the actual name, but it's the first place I ever saw that combined oil changes and lattes. When Seattle's coffee boom hit, Wenatchee wasn't spared. We had coffee shops on every corner with coffee stands/carts on the sidewalks between them. And we had the oil change/latte shop to complete the set.
Anyway, though I miss not being near my family, it's good to be back home again in my own bed.
God made mud
A PRAYER FOR THE DYING
God made mud.
God got lonesome.
So God said to some of the mud, ‘Sit up!’
‘See all I’ve made,’ said God, ‘the hills, the sea, the sky, the stars.’
And I was some of the mud that got to sit up and look around.
Lucky me, lucky mud.
I, mud, sat up and saw what a nice job God had done.
Nice going, God!
Nobody but You could have done it, God! I certainly couldn’t have.
I feel very unimportant compared to You.
The only way I can feel the least bit important is to think of all the mud that didn’t even get to sit up and look around.
I got so much and most mud got so little.
Thank you for the honor.
Now mud lies down again and goes to sleep.
What memories for mud to have!
What interesting other kinds of sitting-up mud I met!
I loved everything I saw!
Good night.R.I.P. Kurt Vonnegut
Thursday, April 05, 2007
Misc. Wednesday
Work's been painfully slow lately. Nobody want to buy furniture right now, not with taxes due soon. We went to see Blades of Glory tonight, the new movie with Will Ferrell and John Heder. It was pretty hilarious. Now I need to see 300 before it leaves theaters. I'm going to try to see it next week when we go to visit my family in Wenatchee.
Lately I've been getting annoyed by all the talk about being carbon neutral. It reminds me of the indulgences you could once buy from the church to rid yourself of sins by paying money. I'm not sure that giving money to organizations that build solar panels in Africa should really get you a gold star and a pat on the head. Ooh, I helped pay for a windmill, so now I can feel better about driving around in my gas-guzzler.
Maybe it's a good thing, but I'm suspicious.
Lately I've been getting annoyed by all the talk about being carbon neutral. It reminds me of the indulgences you could once buy from the church to rid yourself of sins by paying money. I'm not sure that giving money to organizations that build solar panels in Africa should really get you a gold star and a pat on the head. Ooh, I helped pay for a windmill, so now I can feel better about driving around in my gas-guzzler.
Maybe it's a good thing, but I'm suspicious.
Monday, April 02, 2007
Mondays suck
The worst thing about Mondays is emptying out two diaper pails. Holy sheet it's some nasty-ass jobbery.
Changing one diaper is bad enough, but opening up the lid and being assaulted by the smell of 25-30 poopy/pee-stained diapers is just too much.
Changing one diaper is bad enough, but opening up the lid and being assaulted by the smell of 25-30 poopy/pee-stained diapers is just too much.
Saturday, March 31, 2007
Saturday Night Live
We watched Borat tonight on dvd. A bit of a letdown since it has been built up so much. Not that it wasn't funny, but I'm not sure why People gave it 4 out of 4 stars. They never give anything 4 stars. I give it 6/10, it definitely had its moments.
After it was over we realized how sad we are. We were watching the Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards, on a Saturday night, with the kids in bed. And actually somewhat enjoying it.
Lexi's been listening to music lately and dancing around her bedroom. We put a cd player in there so she could listen to the cd's that her Uncle Jeff got her. She especially likes the Sippy Cups and Apples in Stereo. I like them too, and you can usually find me dancing away in there with her. She likes to shake her booty, though her normal dancing style is running around in a circle bobbing her head.
The other night was a classic night. Mandy blames it on me giving Lexi some Coke. That was about 4 pm and she probably had about 4 ounces of it, so I'm not sure it was my fault, but Lexi wouldn't go to bed all night. She probably conked out about 2 am finally. But at 1 am I was jolted awake to music playing. I thought it was my alarm and that morning had finally come, but then realized it was coming from Lexi's room. She had turned the stereo all the way up then hit Play. When I got to her room she was lying on her bed with her hands over her head, partly because of the volume, and partly, I'm sure, in preparation for the yelling she knew I was going to be doing. The next day she kept saying, "Music loud...daddy mad".
After it was over we realized how sad we are. We were watching the Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards, on a Saturday night, with the kids in bed. And actually somewhat enjoying it.
Lexi's been listening to music lately and dancing around her bedroom. We put a cd player in there so she could listen to the cd's that her Uncle Jeff got her. She especially likes the Sippy Cups and Apples in Stereo. I like them too, and you can usually find me dancing away in there with her. She likes to shake her booty, though her normal dancing style is running around in a circle bobbing her head.
The other night was a classic night. Mandy blames it on me giving Lexi some Coke. That was about 4 pm and she probably had about 4 ounces of it, so I'm not sure it was my fault, but Lexi wouldn't go to bed all night. She probably conked out about 2 am finally. But at 1 am I was jolted awake to music playing. I thought it was my alarm and that morning had finally come, but then realized it was coming from Lexi's room. She had turned the stereo all the way up then hit Play. When I got to her room she was lying on her bed with her hands over her head, partly because of the volume, and partly, I'm sure, in preparation for the yelling she knew I was going to be doing. The next day she kept saying, "Music loud...daddy mad".
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Noe gets older
Pics of Noah, Stories of Lexi:
We told Lexi that she could get a sticker for every night she stays in bed the whole night. I asked her, "What do you get if you stay in bed all night?" and she replied, "A sticker!". I asked, "What do you get if you don't stay in bed all night"? She said, "A taco"!
Then tonight we were singing "Twinkle Twinkle Little star, how I wonder what you...television".
She also told me, "Just a minute" a couple of times today. "Lexi, let's go inside now."
"Just a minute".
Monday, March 12, 2007
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Lamps
Sweet lamp here
I'm not buying a lamp. I just saw this one and thought it was mecha-awesome, like my throbbing foot.
And while we're on the subject of awesome furniture coupled with lousy customer service, have you ever been in a Design Within Reach store? A friend was telling me about his experience going in there one day...said he went in and there was a woman behind a computer sitting at the desk, totally ignored him at first. He looked around for a few minutes and she finally asked, "How are you today?", and that was it. Never asked if he needed help, never offered any information, nothing.
When he finished I told him I had the exact same experience, except the lady at least asked me how I was within a few seconds of entering the store rather than waiting until I'd been browsing for awhile.
I tell you, that furniture better give my kids a bath and put them to bed if it's so goddam good that you don't need to put any effort into selling it.
I'm not buying a lamp. I just saw this one and thought it was mecha-awesome, like my throbbing foot.
And while we're on the subject of awesome furniture coupled with lousy customer service, have you ever been in a Design Within Reach store? A friend was telling me about his experience going in there one day...said he went in and there was a woman behind a computer sitting at the desk, totally ignored him at first. He looked around for a few minutes and she finally asked, "How are you today?", and that was it. Never asked if he needed help, never offered any information, nothing.
When he finished I told him I had the exact same experience, except the lady at least asked me how I was within a few seconds of entering the store rather than waiting until I'd been browsing for awhile.
I tell you, that furniture better give my kids a bath and put them to bed if it's so goddam good that you don't need to put any effort into selling it.
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
Saturday, March 03, 2007
Birthday Castle
It's always easier to just throw up a picture and show how cute they are than try to explain why they keep me up at night.
Thursday, March 01, 2007
Dinosaurs
I know there are some of those out there that know you're getting old, but it's still kind of new for me. Sure, I've got more gray hairs than I would like and the kids and mortgage payment are good indicators that I'm getting up there, but what really does it for me is seeing bands that I used to listen to reforming and heading back out on tour.
There are bands that do this every few years (The Eagles, Van Halen), then there are bands that should have hung up their guitars decades ago (Rolling Stones), but the one that's hitting home for me is Dinosaur Jr.
Maybe the Pixies started it a few years ago. Which is funny because I was telling a co-worker around that same time that if they ever got back together again, I would go see them no matter where they were playing. Turns out it was at the Gorge, in Washington, and the enormo-dome Sasquatch fest, and I don't like those big festival shows, so I didn't go. Another sign of my fogeyness, perhaps?
But when I saw a post on Pitchfork about Dinosaur Jr. getting together again I just about crapped my pants. You've got to see the accompanying photo.
J. Mascis looks like a complete goober. His long, stringy hair is now gray and he's still got those big fucking glasses like my mom wore in the 80's. Not sure if he's trying to show how non-trendy he is, but somewhere he made a huge mistake in optical fashion trends.
Lou Barlow looks about the same, maybe a few pounds heavier, and Murph has a giant bald head and looks kind of like James Carville.
I don't mean to single them out to be rude, it's just that in a couple more years it's going to be me and that's scary.
There are bands that do this every few years (The Eagles, Van Halen), then there are bands that should have hung up their guitars decades ago (Rolling Stones), but the one that's hitting home for me is Dinosaur Jr.
Maybe the Pixies started it a few years ago. Which is funny because I was telling a co-worker around that same time that if they ever got back together again, I would go see them no matter where they were playing. Turns out it was at the Gorge, in Washington, and the enormo-dome Sasquatch fest, and I don't like those big festival shows, so I didn't go. Another sign of my fogeyness, perhaps?
But when I saw a post on Pitchfork about Dinosaur Jr. getting together again I just about crapped my pants. You've got to see the accompanying photo.
J. Mascis looks like a complete goober. His long, stringy hair is now gray and he's still got those big fucking glasses like my mom wore in the 80's. Not sure if he's trying to show how non-trendy he is, but somewhere he made a huge mistake in optical fashion trends.
Lou Barlow looks about the same, maybe a few pounds heavier, and Murph has a giant bald head and looks kind of like James Carville.
I don't mean to single them out to be rude, it's just that in a couple more years it's going to be me and that's scary.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
